The journey of maintaining my natural hair has undoubtedly been one of the most transformative and, at times, challenging experiences of my life. Two years ago, I made the liberating decision to go completely natural, embarking on an adventure that has taught me patience, self-acceptance, and resilience. To be perfectly honest, I am still actively learning the intricate language of my curls and coils. Some mornings, I wake up and the sheer thought of detangling and styling sends me spiraling into temptation, making me yearn for the ease of a relaxer. The battle between embracing my authentic texture and desiring the simplicity of chemically straightened hair is real and ongoing. Yet, there are also those glorious days when my hair feels vibrant and looks stunning, filling me with an overwhelming sense of pride and a desire to share its beauty with the world. This emotional rollercoaster sometimes makes me question my sanity, wondering why anyone would willingly choose such a demanding hair type when seemingly simpler alternatives exist. But then, on other days, I find myself profoundly grateful, thanking a higher power for blessing me with such unique, character-filled tresses that truly reflect my identity. Join me as I recount the twists and turns of my personal natural hair odyssey.
My initial foray into the world of natural hair began shortly after our move to the United States. It was the first time I had cut my hair since high school, a significant milestone. The braids I had been wearing had unfortunately caused some damage, particularly to my delicate baby hairs, leaving me with what we call ‘mbamba’ – a noticeable absence of those soft, fine hairs along the hairline. Determined to achieve uniform growth, I enlisted my nephew’s help, asking him to chop off my hair. My vision was to avoid the ‘peacock effect’ – a patchy look with sparse hair at the front and longer strands in the middle. While he did cut my hair, he didn’t quite remove all the relaxed sections as I had explicitly requested. Despite this, I proudly rocked my new, shorter look, seeing it as the first step towards my natural hair goals. It was a time of adjustment, getting used to a texture and length I hadn’t seen in years, but also a time of quiet anticipation for what was to come.
Several months later, I decided it was time for the definitive ‘big chop.’ I wanted to completely rid myself of any remaining chemically treated hair and embrace my natural texture fully. This time, I sought out a professional barber. The experience itself was quite memorable. The white lady barber, though skilled, openly admitted her struggle with my hair. She described it as exceptionally thick and incredibly curly, a testament to its unique characteristics. Her efforts to cut and shape my hair were so demanding that she felt compelled to leave detailed instructions in the salon’s computer system, ensuring that any future stylist handling my hair would be well-prepared. It was a humbling moment, underscoring just how distinct my hair truly was. The result was an even shorter cut, a truly fresh start. While the initial shock of such short hair was intense – a moment I still sheepishly recall and often wish to skip past in photo albums – it was a crucial step in my natural hair evolution, symbolizing a complete break from my relaxed past and a full embrace of my authentic self.
From that point forward, my hair began its journey of growth, not just in length but also in character and resilience. It grew in wisdom, in stature, and, most importantly, in favor with my mirror and the ever-growing collection of natural hair products that began to populate my bathroom shelves. With a new dedication to understanding my hair, I dove headfirst into the vast ocean of natural hair content available online. I spent countless hours watching what felt like thousands of YouTube videos – tutorials, product reviews, styling demonstrations, and testimonials from fellow naturalistas. These vloggers became my virtual mentors, guiding me through the intricacies of caring for my unique texture. Inspired and armed with new knowledge, I began experimenting with various styles. One of my earliest and most satisfying attempts was the fro puff, a simple yet elegant way to showcase my burgeoning natural coils. It was a milestone, a visible sign of my progress and newfound confidence in styling my own hair.
As my hair continued its vigorous growth, the challenges mounted. The increasing volume and texture began to test the limits of my hair accessories. Combs, once reliable tools, started to snap under the pressure of my dense curls. Hair ties, designed for durability, frequently stretched, frayed, and eventually broke. It felt like a comedic, yet frustrating, battle against my own strands. The sheer volume and tendency for my hair to intertwine made daily management a daunting task. Some days, overwhelmed by the effort required, I would simply leave my hair in a state of glorious disarray, tangled and far from appealing in my own eyes. I candidly admit that I was slowly but surely transforming into a “sane madwoman,” constantly grappling with the demands of my natural hair. My young daughters, ever observant, eventually noticed my struggle. One particularly candid morning, my eldest declared my hair “not beautiful” in its current state. She then took initiative, sending her sister to retrieve hair accessories, and together, they lovingly took matters into their own hands, attempting to “fix” their mother’s hair. Their innocent intervention, a testament to their budding care and creativity, was a sweet reminder that even in its most unruly state, my hair was a canvas for love.
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| Meme from SOML Facebook |
Believe me when I say the struggle to manage my growing natural hair was incredibly real and often overwhelming. The tangles were persistent, the knots formidable, and the sheer effort required to detangle and style could drain my energy for the entire day. It was a constant negotiation between patience and frustration. Then came a pivotal moment: I woke up one morning and, with newfound resolve, declared it “wash day.” This wasn’t just any wash day; it was a commitment to a full, intensive natural hair regimen. I approached it with the seriousness of a scientific experiment, determined to bring order and vitality back to my curls. My arsenal included a selection of products, each chosen for its specific role in cleansing, conditioning, and defining. While I may not have used every single product imaginable from the natural hair aisle, I certainly employed a comprehensive collection to ensure a thorough and beneficial wash experience. To make the process manageable, I meticulously partitioned my hair into several sections, a crucial technique I had learned from countless YouTube tutorials. This segmentation prevented overwhelming tangles and allowed for a more effective application of products. I carefully washed and deep-conditioned each section, following the precise steps demonstrated by my favorite natural hair vloggers. Their guidance was invaluable, transforming a potentially daunting task into an empowering ritual. Yay for the vibrant community of YouTube natural hair vloggers who share their wisdom and inspire countless others like me! This systematic approach resulted in a wash day that left my hair feeling rejuvenated, soft, and ready for styling. The sense of accomplishment was immense, and I documented the transformation with a series of proud pictures.
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| Meme from SOML Facebook |
The results of that dedicated wash day were truly encouraging. My hair felt healthier, looked shinier, and the curls were beginning to take on a more defined shape. It was a powerful reminder of what consistent care and the right techniques could achieve. I continued to experiment with various styles, drawing inspiration from my ever-growing knowledge base. As my hair continued to flourish and gain more length, I decided to tackle a more intricate style: a bantu knot out. This technique involves twisting sections of damp hair into knots, which are then left to dry completely before being unraveled to reveal beautiful, stretched curls. The anticipation was high, as I envisioned perfectly defined, bouncy coils. While the resulting curls weren’t quite as defined as the picture-perfect results often showcased on social media, I was incredibly proud of my effort and the overall outcome. My kinky hair had transformed, showcasing its versatility and beauty in a new light. Each strand, though perhaps not uniformly perfect, radiated a unique charm, and I felt a deep sense of accomplishment in having created the style myself. This bantu knot out was another step in understanding and appreciating the dynamic nature of my natural hair, proving that every attempt, whether flawless or not, contributes to the learning process and self-discovery.
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Through all the experimentation and learning, one style has emerged as my most reliable and cherished ‘go-to’: the high puff. It’s a testament to its simplicity, elegance, and ability to keep my hair neatly contained yet beautifully showcased. My routine typically involves a gentle attempt at combing – or more accurately, detangling – my hair, using a wide-tooth comb or my fingers, always working from ends to roots to minimize breakage. Once adequately detangled and moisturized, I gather all my hair towards the crown of my head, securing it with a sturdy hair tie or an elastic headband to create a voluminous, elevated puff. The final, crucial step involves meticulously laying my edges with a good quality edge control gel. This not only creates a polished finish but also protects those delicate baby hairs, giving the entire look a sleek and refined appearance. The high puff is more than just a style; it’s a declaration of confidence, a celebration of my natural texture, and a practical solution for busy days when I want to look put-together without spending hours on my hair. It has become a cornerstone of my natural hair styling repertoire, always dependable and always flattering.
In my ongoing natural hair journey, I’ve discovered two indispensable allies: extra virgin coconut oil and water. These two simple yet powerful elements have become my hair’s best friends, forming the foundation of its health and vitality. Water, often underestimated, is crucial for moisturizing my curls, preventing dryness, and maintaining their elasticity. I regularly spritz my hair with water, especially on non-wash days, to rehydrate and refresh my coils. Following this, extra virgin coconut oil acts as a fantastic sealant, locking in that moisture and adding a beautiful, natural sheen. Its nourishing properties help strengthen my strands, reduce breakage, and promote overall hair health. The combination of water and coconut oil creates a protective barrier, keeping my hair soft, supple, and less prone to frizz. This consistent regimen has significantly improved the texture and manageability of my hair. Today, my hair is considerably longer than it often appears in photos, a testament to its healthy growth. However, the phenomenon of shrinkage is a very real aspect of natural hair. My curls have a remarkable ability to contract and coil, making the actual length much harder to perceive until stretched. This natural characteristic is part of the beauty and unique challenge of having textured hair, and it’s something I’ve learned to appreciate and embrace as an inherent part of its charm.
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| Meme from SOML, Facebook |
And so, my dear friends, that encapsulates the unfolding story of my natural hair journey – a vibrant tale of discovery, dedication, and deep self-acceptance. It has been a path filled with learning, overcoming challenges, and celebrating the unique beauty of my God-given texture. My commitment to my natural hair remains unwavering. I will continue to nourish it diligently with my trusted duo of coconut oil and water, ensuring it stays hydrated, healthy, and strong. The exploration of new styles is also an ongoing adventure; there’s always a new twist-out, braid-out, or updo waiting to be tried. The world of natural hair styling is vast and continuously evolving, offering endless possibilities for creativity and expression. I am eager to continue this journey of growth and transformation, both for my hair and for myself. Do you have any natural hair tips, product recommendations, or creative styling suggestions that you think I should try? Perhaps there’s a technique or a protective style that has worked wonders for you? Please don’t hesitate to share your wisdom and insights in the comments below. I truly value the collective knowledge and support of the natural hair community, and I’m always open to learning new ways to cherish and style my curls.
“And isn’t long hair a woman’s pride and joy? For it has been given to her as a covering.”